Saturday, June 13, 2015

Fear and worry

What do I fear? What do I worry about? Where am I putting my trust.

I am obviously not putting my trust in God. I fear being a failure to my family, to my church and that manifest itself in thoughts like, "I'll never find a girlfiend, no one will ever want me, if they knew my sins they would hate me."

As I voice these concerns to myself, it pains me. Why would I subject myself to such torture? Such false prophecies to myself.

God, teach me more about myself. Open my eyes to the deep seeded pain in my heart. I know it's there, I dont know how to explain it or put it into words.... but you know me. You know my heart. Open those flood gates.

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