Confidence

Today was such a chill day at work, but there was one moment that kind of caught me off guard so to speak. I was seated with my co workers and the topic of the conversation went to "dreams and goals in your life." My co worker John put it bluntly: Dont make this custodian work your career cause there's nothing here." My other co worker asked me, "Jude, dont you have any dreams and goals?"

I gave them the answer I always give, "I wanted to be a writer, but someone discouraged me and told me that was a fools dream so I began to tell myself 'then whats the use in persuing that dream if you say ill fail' so I stopped going to school and just started working."

It wasn't until later in the day when I relayed the conversation to my mother that I was given some honest truth.

"Jude," my mom said, "maybe it's because you don't have confidence in yourself."

I finally had to admit to myself after years of just deflecting answers that it all boiled down to that:

Confidence in myself. I lack confidence in many places. In talking to women, in writing poems, in finishing what I start.

No more. Today I declare that I will live with confidence. Confidence in my abilities, confidence in talking to the opposite sex, comfidence in my work, confidence in all that think, say or do. And this shall mot be am arrogant confidence, but a confidence rooted and grounded in humility, genuiness and above all, my God and King, Jesus Christ. I declare it and speak it into existence!